Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Infertility...sucks!

So, for those that don't know, we have been trying to get pregnant for the last year to year in a half, with no success.  So, I finally decided that I would go and see what is going on, because I have hated the waiting game.  Well, I had to have some blood tests done, and come to find out I am anovulatory, which basically means that I don't ovulate.  Which, kind of sucks in a way.  I would be lying if I said that I am okay with it.  At first when I found out I was angry, not only with myself but with God.  I couldn't understand why He would let this happen to us, we are good, honest people, and we try to keep His commandments.  But I just couldn't understand why this was happening to us.

Now fast forward a month or so, we found out more information about us being infertile, which made it even harder for me not to be mad and frustrated.  But let's go forward another couple of weeks, it would have been the weekend of June 17th, we had the neatest opportunity to go to the temple.  I don't know why we hadn't gone there sooner.  But we had the chance to go through and do a session with Nick's brother and his wife as they were going through for themselves.  I had gone into the temple with such a heavy heart and so many questions on my mind as to why we have to wait to have our chance to raise our kids.  But as we were sitting together in the Celestial room, I had such a feeling of peace and comfort come over me, and I knew in that moment that one day we would have our chance.  And that right now, there are other things that we need to get in order before we start our family.  It was such an answer to my prayers.  It felt so good to have that burden lifted off of my heart and my shoulders and turn it over to the Lord.  There are still days when I have a hard time with it, but I am so grateful for the time that I get to spend with Nick.  I wouldn't trade it for anything right now.  I have been so blessed to have him in my life, he has been such a strength to me.

For those of you that know me well, it is hard for me to share what I am feeling, so sharing this is kind of hard for me.  I don't want people to feel bad for me, because I know that everything will be okay.  But it just feels good to let people know what has been going on in mine and Nick's life.  So thanks for listening.  I'll try to be better at posting.  I'll post what pictures I have and what not from Girls Camp soon.  But have a good day!  Talk to you soon!

5 comments:

Jason and Rachel Hyde said...

Emily I love you so much. I have been hearing stories like yours from so many of my friends and it is so hard to hear and understand and my heart truly goes out to you, You of all people are so deserving of motherhood and I just know it will happen someday! I am glad you have that confirmation too. I can only imagine what you've been going through and am sorry it's been a bumpy road lately. Keep blogging I love reading, especially now that I'll being living a million miles away dang it! I love you!!!

Amy said...

Yeah, you blogged. And just reminding you that I love ya! Let's get together soon.

Becky Green said...

I also don't ovulate; you're not alone. I love you :)

emmae4ever said...

Thanks you guys! I love you too!

Marye said...

I also don't ovulate.... if you want details on what worked for me to get pregnant let me know! There are lots of options I'm sure you've found out by now...